Panda Russia?
by sky-journey
Summary: Dreading the worst, America turned around and found himself looking up at what could only be a nightmare… Giant panda Russia!"


Prussia sat on a chair, a glint in his eyes. "It was an average day for America as he stood in front of a vending machine to fill his empty stomach (though he really should cut down on the junk food) , when suddenly, a series of ear piercing BOOMS sounded out, and the Earth shook beneath him! Dreading the worst, America turned around and found himself looking up at what could only be a nightmare… Giant panda Russia!"

"Prussia, what is this supposed to be?" A sigh escaped Canada. He had not been expecting this when Prussia had invited him and his brother to his place.

"Shush Canada. I want to hear about how I go all heroic and beat him to a pulp!" Though one of them seemed to be enjoying it.

Ignoring their comments, Prussia continued with his story, using as many dramatic gestures and tones as possible. "A grin was stretched onto Panda Russia's face as he bent down to face America, who was just about ready to run from fear. However before said nation could escape, panda Russia picked him up in his humongous paws, and, ignoring America's struggles to free himself, got ready to DEVOUR him!" 

"There's no way that would happen!"

"But there was something that Panda Russia had not counted on." Prussia's voice turned quiet and eerie, forcing America and Canada to lean in closer. "And that something, no, someone, was… Canada!" The sudden raise in volume caused both audience members to jump back.

"E-eh? M-me?" Canada asked in his normally quiet tone, while exchanging a questioning glance with America.

"Yup! Canada had brought this GIANT jar of maple syrup (it was almost as big as he was) and he THREW it up at Panda Russia's face (would've been better to eat it if you ask me). However Panda Russia only got angrier, and with his free paw he grabbed Canada and brought him up so they were looking at one another, eye to eye." He paused shortly to gaze at his audience. "It looked like the end for the two, when suddenly, with magnificent timing, Awesome Hero Prussia and his Useless Sidekick Italy appeared!"

"Prussia…. Really?"

"That's my role!" America crossed his arms and glared at Prussia. He was supposed to be the hero!

"Terrified from the look the evil panda was giving him, Useless Sidekick Italy ran around, crying for pasta and safety! However Panda Russia tried, he couldn't keep his eyes on Italy, and the constant turning around caused him to become dizzier and dizzier, until he fell to the ground with really loud BAM, giving his captives time to escape from his clutches! It was then that Awesome Hero Prussia pinched him in the nose, and turned him back into the nation he had been before. America and Canada couldn't stop thanking Awesome Hero Prussia and his Not-So-Useless Sidekick Italy."

America scoffed. "You wish we would."

"And with his task complete, Awesome Hero Prussia flew up and out through the roof (you bet he can) his awe striking image inspiring countless of the stories told today." With a grin, Prussia finished his story.

"Uh, Prussia? How did Russia turn into a panda in the first place?" Canada quietly voiced his thoughts.

"Well that's easy to answer! He was probably trying to use his own magic (really, he and eyebrows need to stop with all that sorcery stuff- no one believes in it) and being the stupid nation he is, messed it up and turned himself into a giant evil panda!"

"You know," America spoke through his hamburger, "That story wasn't all that bad. Except for the whole 'America getting caught' and 'Prussia is the hero' bits. Personally, I think those roles should be switched around, so that Amazing Hero America saves Helpless Prussia and Canada."

"Helpless? Me? You mean 'awesome' right? Because I know I'm not helpless a-"

"You guys." America and Prussia turned their attention to Canada at the northern nation's fearful tone. "The ground is shaking."

How the bickering nations hadn't noticed it before was unclear, however, unlike the shaking, they immediately noticed the shadow that had fallen onto them. Startled, they looked up. It was giant Panda Russia.


End file.
